On many occasions, being a 84 yr old guy, I have had a new crew member aboard, or offered to take a new skipper/boat owner out for some practice/training sessions.
So recently a casual acquaintance, another old guy- 70 yr old, asked if he could "crew" for me some time. He explained that while he had previously never been on a sailboat, but had now just finished a sailing school series at a local club. He wanted to try out some skills he had learned in a more independent setting than at the club with instructor and 4 students watching him. The school boat was a 23ft Ensign. My boat is a 21ft Santana with the 750 lb swing keel. He was confident enough to want to include his wife, and my lady friend, as passengers. He had a notebook with pages of handwritten info from his lessons. The local club is a good outfit, with experienced instructors, but this gentleman was likely not their star student. Light wind 5-6 mph, not much boat traffic,so I initially thought I would let him skipper, and I'd just offer a few tips or suggestions. He's a nice guy, and with his wife along, I had to be judicious in phrasing any criticisms. But it turns out he was totally overwhelmed. He knew the names of all the on-board equipment/gear, and we rigged the sails OK, but real-time plan/see/execute/sail trim procedures were mostly a disaster. I soon decided I'd better re-take the helm, abandoned any Jibes (tried 1, then opted for nice easy 270 deg tack maneuvers), and repeatedly had to remind him to completely release the upwind jib sheet after a tack. He was physically unstable moving about the boat, so my 76 yr old lady friend went forward on deck when necessary to handle departure/return to dock, douse the jib, etc.
All-in-all it was a pleasant light wind sail. And they are good people. But how do you discuss any future sailing adventure with a new student that I personally don't think will ever qualify to rent a boat from the local club. or go out as crew in a fast paced heavy wind condition. I don't want to discourage him (maybe the 'light will come on' and his learning progress will accelerate). And I'd be happy to host him again on a light wind day. I don't know what triggered his decision to suddenly want to jump into sailing at his age. I think I will try to probe those reasons in later conversations. I love sailing, but I grew into it from boy scout camp 70 yrs ago.
Most people have an idyllic impression of sailing. They think just lay back and let the boat go with the wind. They don't realize you have to work at it and have an understanding beyond pointing the boat and steering. Something like a sunfish with one sail for a start is a good way to catch on to the concepts. However, it is also a physical endeavor. So consider your friend's limitations.
I had a 15' daysailer and took a coworker who was thinking of getting into sailing out for an afternoon. He showed up wearing work boots and Carhartt bibs. He wouldn't listen to instructions, instead he talked nonstop about work. His movements were like a WWE wrestler, slamming himself onto the seat with every tack. Twice he suddenly stood up and met with the swinging boom. At one point he questioned why we were sailing so close to shore. I told him it was so he wouldn't have so far to swim. I never felt comfortable enough to hand over the tiller, and after 30 minutes called it quits.
If you have the patience, suggest (require) that he go out with you alone. No other crew or passengers. Light winds again. Go from there.
I took my s-in-l out once, just to sail. Not really teaching. I gave him the helm for just a bit while I went forward for some reason (don't remember). In a few seconds he about dumped me in the water! Shortly thereafter, I reinstalled my lifelines. LOL
Ask someone where the wind is before you even get on the boat. If they can't point toward the wind, it's not going to be fun. I've had a few people out in the catboat, and there's no way I'd ever give most of them the helm. Well, besides my wife. SHE was at the helm the first time we launched :D I still fuss at her though because she always tries to point too high. I did let one of my buds helm in a blow and he only made a small mistake and the size of my eyes told him what to do ;D
GlenG, "The ideal college," said President James Abram Garfield, "is one with Mark Hopkins on one end of a log and a student on the other."
There is (IMHO) no better instruction, than one-on-one.
Consider all the pitfalls from your excursion:
1) Guy embarrasses himself in front of his wife.
2) Guy embarrasses himself in front of your lady friend.
3) Guy embarrasses himself in front of YOU!
4) Guy embarrasses himself in front of the entire yacht club.
There is no greater confidence, than from the Truly Ignorant, simply because they don't know, what they don't know.
Which should have been your job.
I have taken the Nautically Hopeless, on sailing excursions before and got it down to nearly a rote exercise.
I tell them:
1) Just you and me; I can't teach with distractions.
2) Just me and you; you can't learn with distractions.
3) I can neither know nor assume, what you know or don't know, so I have to start at the beginning.
Since I single hand so much, I insist on rigging the boat by myself and invite them to watch and to interrupt to ask questions about anything they don't understand, or might be different from what they learned.
Then I ask them about wind direction and which way the sail should be.
I start out with main alone and have them sit at the tiller. I have them go back and forth until I feel that they can steer the boat.
I handle the main sheet explaining that how fast or how slow the boat goes, will be a function of where that main sheet is. After they have a handle on that, I move on to tacks and different points of sail (run, reach, tack etc.).
Then I have them handle the main sheet while I handle the tiller again. I point out that how fast or slow the boat is, is now in their hands. After a while I'll ask if they now feel confident to handle tiller and main sheet.
Only rarely on a first trip, will I let them also use the jib sail and sheets.
All of this is assuming that your newbie friend is indeed merely ignorant, and not a Braggart.
In the Tales and Trip Reports section is a story about lobster diving with someone who didn't know what he didn't know and worse, THOUGHT he did!! :o
https://trailersailor.com/forum/index.php?topic=1441.new#new
If the newbie is the latter, all bets are off.
You are under no obligation to be the Patron Saint of Idiot Sailors.
As my Dad once said to me:
"You can't run under all the trees, catching all the birds, that fall down, from all the nests."
One guy's opinion,
Charles Brennan
A boat well-sailed looks easy. Since the boat is moving so much slower than a car, to the uninitiated, it seems like nothing bad can happen.
You did your part by being gracious enough to take the guy and his wife out. I go along with the others that say IF you take him out again, it has to be just you and him. Have him tell you what is happening next and explain how it will happen (tack, gybe, all the points of sail, hove-to, departing and approaching the dock), and where the wind is during every step of it.
And that said, not everyone is cut out for sailing - either physically or intuitively. Every sailor here started out not knowing... how any of it works. It may have been first time jitters. The next step has to be with both of you feeling good about it, and talking honestly about what wasn't done right on that first outing.
Good luck.
I must modify and explain. I have a gaff rig. I have a BIG sail on a LITTLE boat. It can be cranky at times and you NEVER want too much sail. It can and WILL capsize 'cause I know TWO guys that did it. Both boats were badly damaged. So...in effect, only TWO people alive (Sonya and myself) know how to run this boat the way it should be run. Talk about a Chinese fire drill! Get a newbie to raise the gaff! Yeah! Be my guest!
The way I HAVE to solve the situation is have them on the helm at the start, and explain what I'm doing with the sail and all, while keeping a eagle eye on their heading and steering capability. If they can't steer IN RELATION TO THE WIND, and take directions, it is going to be difficult.
If were one come asking though, I'd be more than happy up to a point. I had planned a crew member but it hasn't worked out. He's too involved in sports. Next it'll be girls I suppose. Come to think of it, send me that guy and tell him to bring his fishing rod! ;D ;D ;D
Thanks for all the comments. It's good to know you all favor helping/training new sailors, and have the experience to do so. It's up to us old guys to welcome and assist the next generation of sailors. It could have been 1st time jitters and my friend's mind just went blank when suddenly under the gun. I'll give him another chance under better learning conditions if he wants to.
One more conversation we had might ring a bell with you old salts...
He asked why I didn't have the windvane arrow at mast-top, like the school boat Ensign did. (I had one long ago, damaged during storage with mast down, didn't feel a need to replace it.) I explained that my boat has a very tall mast, and with cap/visor on I had to really crank my neck back to see it. Later he asked how I knew where the wind was, and I pointed to a number of 8"narrow ribbons tied onto the side shrouds and back stay. Did he not see them, or did he not recognize their use?? Obviously he was way too inexperienced to understand the critical role of the hairs on the back of your neck, or the feel/look of the sail trim, or in shifty light winds keeping the jib sheet in hand (not cleated) for feel and quick response. I've been thinking of all the situations and surprises that we automatically react to and handle by reflex without thinking & analyzing. Yes, I have to remember the newbie needs to focus on the basics first and not overwhelm him with "too much info" all at once.
Also show him how to read the wind on the water. Too see when a strong puff is coming and notice if it has changed direction before it gets to the boat. One not only has to check sail trim and feel but keep an eye on the water. But I agree don't overwhelm him. Have him handle just the jib sheet and coach him on that and then handling the main sheet. How to feel the pressure on the helm and have a balanced helm. You could do a bit of this on the same day but just in stages or on different days
Learning to Sail
I wasn't sure whether to chime in on this topic, but I have a contrarian view from my own experience. I did not grow up near water, and finally learned to swim at the age of 10 at summer camp. In my early 30s with a wife, 2 young boys and a pregnant wife I decided to satisfy a long time desire and learn to sail.
A couple of my colleagues at work sailed so I asked one if he would teach me to sail if I rented the boats. His boat was a custom built wooden boat about 25 feet long designed to sail well, comfort was not considered important.
For my first lesson I rented a small dinghy on Raritan Bay in New Jersey with only main and jib and we went out for a couple of hours in moderate wind. To prepare he told me find a book or two on "Learning to Sail" and read the opening chapters. I really cannot remember exactly what we did, but he handled the boat first and then gave me the tiller, talking all the time about how to sail.
My second lesson was renting a similar boat on City Island in New York City again in moderate to light wind and I learned to tack. We never jibed just went from beam reach to close reach and he emphasized sailing "full and by" to get comfortable with sailing. That was my last lesson. His parting instructions were to remember that sailing is easy, sailing well may take a lifetime, and only practice will get you there. If the wind gets stronger and you start to feel out of control, on any point of sail just push the tiller toward the boom and let the mainsheet and jib loose. The main will flap like a flag, while the boat heads into the wind. Play around a bit with just easing the mainsheet a few inches and not punish the sail so much.
I then searched the ads for a dinghy and had the luck to find a wooden Bluejay in excellent condition for only $300 including trailer. This boat was under powered and designed as a junior trainer. It was a Lightning divided by the square root of 2, thus only 13.5 feet compared to the 19 feet of its much more challenging big brother.
The boat I got for my kids when they tired of sailing with Old Dad is another story.
Monroe... I don't really see anything contrarian about your story. You read some books, got coached by a seasoned sailor, and started with Small dinghies having a main & jib. A solid way to start the learning process. 30ish is still a young man from my perspective, and as good an age as any to begin a lifetime of sailing.
Sounds like you got the kids involved too. Good on ya !!
A good book with lots of great illustrations for learning about sailing I would recommend is "The Complete Sailor" by David Seidman.
I have read or come across many sailing books, but the best for me for sailing a small boat was"The Glenan's Sailing Manual", a wonderful mixture of theory and practice. The book has a very interesting history, a good story for another day.
I haven't seen that one Monroe but I will testify that experience and The Complete Sailor was all I needed, although at times, I have wanted another seasoned hand. The illustrations in that book are terrific and I enjoyed it from an artistic standpoint as well. It's fun looking at someone's art and seeing how their mind works. A sort of Rorschach test doodle! Yeah, I was late to the party after a lifetime of wanting to sail. Built the boat and learned and now I am an old gaffer...
Maybe that's one MORE way, give them a good book to mull it over with. It actually couldn't hurt and even if they never sail again, their mind will be a little larger.
I was 43 when I bought my first sailboat (1999). Growing up our family was not a water family. I'd been on a friend's cabin cruiser a couple times, a runabout once, and that's about it. I'd taught myself to swim but wasn't good at it. I became enamored with sailboats living near Baltimore and its inner harbor. I wrongly concluded sailing was for the rich. My hobby was golf.
We moved to NC and golf became impractical, but we lived near a beautiful recreational lake on the Roanoke River. While browsing a trader newspaper (no Craig's List or Market Place in those days), I accidentally came across an ad for a sailboat, a Kells 23 with trailer and motor for $3k. I thought I could probably come up with that. My shed had just burned down from a lightning strike and I had $1000 left over from the insurance settlement.
I drove an hour and a half to look at it. Took my wife back a few days later and offered the guy $2500. I was half way back home when he called me to accept the offer. A friend loaned me his Blazer and I went back and picked it up.
I knew ZERO about sailing. My wife said you're not going out until you read something about how to sail. I bought "Sailing for Dummies", written by a husband and wife who were formerly Olympic sailors, and I went solo sailing!
It was a steep learning curve, but 26 years later, 3 pocket cruisers, 4 boats built, and 25 years on TSBB, and I'm still sailing.
As someone returning to sailing after 50 years, my greatest fear is "What detail have I forgotten that is going to come back to bite me?"
Some people write checklists, I just remember!!! (Hey, we're after ADVENTURE not sofa time!!!) ;D ;D ;D
Yes, those things WILL bite too, won't they?