Heloise Hinckley’s Helpful Hints Column #208 . . . .

[Charles Brennan]

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 . . . . . .  well, I think they all just go to the rallies, because they're too CHEAP to buy rasslin' tickets!! 
Oops!!    Gotta go!
Hello readers! 

Dear Heloise Hinckley,
Recently Norm L. told me I had mastered the fine art of "parbuckling".
Geeze!! 
Just my luck! 
Finally master something for once in my life and I don't even know what that IS!!   
What is parbuckling? 
(Signed),
Brennan

Dear Brennan,

That one is simple.
Parbuckling is when you don't completely fasten your rodeo belt buckle.

Sincerely,
Heloise Hinckley


Dear Heloise Hinckley,
I'm thinking of doing a halyard . . .
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(Signed),
Really


Dear Riley,
THAT'S not "doing a halyard"!
THIS is doing a whole yard!!
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Sincerely,
Heloise Hinckley


Dear Heloise Hinckley,
Putting on a little weight over the years.
The truck, a 2018 F150 extended cab with an 8' bed and our 1981 Oday 25 tipped the scales at a certified 13,380 pounds! 
Weighed separately, the truck comes in at 6,040 lb.
Any ideas? 
(Signed),
Dimm

Dear Timm,

6,040 lb, huh?
Ummm . . . .  Did you try stepping out of the truck, first?
Just wondering . . . . .
Sincerely,
Heloise Hinckley


Dear Heloise Hinckley,
Today, I realized exactly what it means to be retired! 
(Signed),
Wayne

Dear Wayne,

You too, huh?
Pore Ole Heloise Hinckley first realized it at an antique auction, when three people bid on HER!! 
Anyway, when did being unemployed become something to brag about? 

Sincerely,
Heloise Hinckley


Dear Heloise Hinckley,
We experience some severe side to side clunking when we encounter a swell or wake at any point beyond nearly straight aft or fore.
I assume the swing keel slams into the centerboard trunk with every side swell.
Do you have a solution? 
(Signed),
Chris-the-Wrench

Dear Chris the Hammer,

To avoid keel clunking during side swells . . . .
Quit sailing the boat sideways!! 

Sincerely,
Heloise Hinckley

[Wolverine]

I don't know if it's because I've been up for almost 20 hours, or because I just finished off a 20 oz White Russian, but this has me laughing so hard I almost fell out of my birth!

More please!

[Riley Smith]

Ahhh! Looks like you may as well just leave it  until the NEXT one hits! My condolences and ignore me while I sit like a little mouse with a storm out on the water. Funny though, btw, I still have made an acceptable one yet. I live in chaos so much that it has become normal to me, so that's nothing. Sooner or later. Dang small diameter is a PITA.

[Norm L.]

Heloise. It is good to hear from you and know that you have gotten through this weather at your asyl...um, residence. We understand that there has probably been a shortage of water there, so it is acceptable that you had to double up to avoid dehydration. So those bottles you have in the back corner of your closet must now be thinned out. We know they will be replaced once you can obtain the use of a golf cart.

[Timm R Oday25]

Heloise , it's very to see you still roaming the halls of the asylum. Come spring time ,I just might try stepping out of the truck ..Stay dry stay safe please . We love having you around