The Raffle

[Riley Smith]

I sat me down awhile back on the patio with a brew, and contemplated getting old. I realized I was blessed with more junk and stuff than I could ever get rid of or give away, but I decided it was time to try. It is my theory that keeping up with 10 million bits of junk, tools, papers, books, clothes, toys, and fishing reels is the cause of Alzheimer's. Your brain just clogs up and there's no more RAM. Besides the fact that this initiative didn't set well with the hoarder gene in my wife, I may have gone a little overboard.
 
You see, I wasn't using the catboat much and none of the family is the least bit interested in sailing (which shows how close I am to them). None of my close friends sail and besides, who in their right mind wants a wooden boat that you must constantly baby, keep inside, and only use three times a year for half a day at a time? So, through the magic of social media, I organized a benefit and raffle, and got friends to spread the word.

Thirty dollars a chance or two for fifty dollars. I was finally going to be able to park in the garage.
Now, all I really intended to do was pare down the fluff of our materialistic existence. I didn't expect to start receiving wads of money in the mail. I had to get a bigger mailbox. It turned into a deluge. Money was coming in all the way from Nigeria. I had finally conned the con man! I was flabbergasted. And then the pirate in me kicked in....and let's just say the rest is history.

Arrugh! Yeah, don't tell me you don't have it in you. You're a sailor aren't you? Case closed.

I'm currently sailing south on my new yawl; just where I'll leave you guessing, and I'm not even going to gush over the new boat. My name is not the same anymore and neither is the boat's. The wind is nice and we're making good headway. My ship finally came in!

Before we left the dock I called my friend that "won" the catboat and he was out on Marsh Lake catching specks. So I sit here with the quartering breeze filling the sails, sipping on a cold beer and contemplating life. You know, I didn't hold a gun to their head, just twisted the truth a little. Not even in the same league as a lot of politicians and newscasters. And I DID give away the boat. To someone that really will take care of her. I wouldn't have done THAT to HER.

 Ya know, it ain't bad getting old. Cheerio folks!

[Doug SC]

I wonder how many here have also thought of sailing away. 

I have also been considering how to unload stuff that I know I will not use again or is an unnecessary duplicate.

[Wolverine]

So...the tickets I bought didn't win?