One less January . . . . . . or, The Paradise Trap.

[Charles Brennan]

Somehow, much like a new line-dance step when you're a little drunk, January just plumb got past me.
Didn't get out in the sailboat, even once. 

According to most estimates of Human Longevity, I've already seen half of the January's I'm ever going to. 
Ask the Insurance Actuarial Type's and it jumps to ¾ of them.
([Edit] Latest estimates on average American male lifespan, indicates I've already seen ALL of them.)
Factor in the Grim Family Medical History: Heart attacks from both sides of the family, both sexes, back about three generations (the leading cause of death in my Ancestors who died in bed), and the fraction starts getting uncomfortably close to the number 1.  Look at January like that and it suddenly seems to you that maybe, you should have done more with it.  Perhaps, not taken it quite so much for granted.

And STILL, I didn't get out sailing in January.
This is dumb. 
After all: I Live In Paradise.
And therein, lies the Rub.
Since, in Paradise, we can go out ANY TIME WE WANT, the tendency is to shrug when you miss a sailing opportunity.
WHEN, did I start doing more Shrugging, than Sailing? 
It really sneaks up on you, in ways you don't always notice right away.

One of my problems probably has to do with the Charles Brennan Credo:
If You Can't Go First-Class, Don't Go.
Certainly, I have a marvelous time every time I take the boat out.  But I have been getting just a little TOO Picky about WHEN I go out. 
Temperature a little chilly?  Go in a few days, when the front passes by.
Winds too strong? Wait a day or two for them to moderate a little.
Winds too light? They'll pick up directly.
Alluva sudden, I realize I've spent so much time waiting for the winds to drop off or pick up, that I hardly sail, any more.  How lame is THAT? 

The other problem is: Classic Catholic Guilt.
Charles, you shouldn't take your boat out, when the hull needs a good washing and more Poli-Glow on it. 
When the teak is not well-oiled. 
When . . . . . .  whatever needs chiding me about, from that nagging voice inside my head the one that sounds like a composite of my Pastor and my Mother.
The Hard Truth is: There aren't all that many days, when the boat is ready, the weather is ready and I'm ready, all at the same time.  When did I get into that mind-set? 

Sailing in February? 
When did that become unthinkable? 
I have some pictures of some Grouper we had caught, laying there on the cockpit hatches; pictures taken from a Cold February, many years ago.  I see the pics now and the first thing I think of is how cold it was, on that night.  The air temps were so low, we'd dip our hands in the warm Gulf Stream waters to warm them up, then dry them off quickly with a towel, so we didn't get frostbite or something.   When did I become such a Wimp?

Do I not have a genuine Military-Issue Black-Wool Watch-Cap? 
Do I not have thick Irish-Wool cable-knit fishermen's sweaters from Ireland? 
Do I not have neoprene wet-suits and dive booties to brave the cold temps? 
Nice foulies? 
Stainless Steel Thermos? 
HEY! I EVEN GOT A STOVE AND A FLOWER POT!!! 
So  . . . . . . . . .  why haven't I used them, in so long? 
When did that stuff get relegated to a seldom-used dresser drawer, instead of a bulkhead net, aboard? 

The final Kicker, in the painful evening's self-examination was: The Memories.
Most of our Sailing Memories are not necessarily always about the Idyllic Sails.
To be sure, I have many of them.
So many in fact, they tend to blur  together.
But it's the Disasters, the days or the nights when the sailing weather WASN'T quite so Paradise-Like, that come first to mind. 

Memories  . . .   . .

. . . . The 4th of July that the wind died even faster than my motor did, and what seemed like EVERY Power Boater in Biscayne Bay, tried to get through the same bridge I was trying to ghost through, at the same time as me; thus trapping me in their contradictory wakes, as though I had been anchored there.

. . . . . The January Shrimping Trip, where it was so cold, we were catching sea-horses in our dip nets that were stunned numb and they came back to life, from the heat from the Coleman Lanterns, when we examined them.   My entire family finally abandoned me for the blankets inside the cabin and left me to hunker down behind the companionway hatch out of the cold blasts of Northern Air, popping my head up occasionally like an optimistic Ground-Hog, to check for other boat traffic.

. . . . The long, long slog from a long way off-shore, of an entire day and most of a night tacking against the wind, the tides, the lack of wind (and of course: lack of motor, again) and everything else the Fates could hurl against me.

. . . . Anchoring in Baker's Haulover Cut for five hours, on a really kicked-up night with the wind on my nose; the result of indulging my son's enthusiasm for fishing, it having over-ridden my better judgment about trying to take on an outgoing tide, armed with only a trolling motor.

. . . . Getting lost in the dark trying to find an un-lit ramp, enduring the mosquitoes and the stifling heat of a muggy June, only to discover the next morning that my non-GPS dead reckoning, had placed me within a hundred yards  of the ramp and across the street from the air-conditioned motel room, with the huge soft beds and endless shower water supply, that I had paid for and been unable to use.

Nope.
Most of the memories that really stick through the years, are when the conditions WEREN'T so favorable.  When Paradise, seemed to be Asleep At The Wheel.

I've got to get out more.
Quit waiting for the weather I WANT and instead, sail in the weather I've GOT.
February is already ¼ gone and I don't have all that many February's left, either.

Seems like Paradise has everything in Abundance, save Time.

Food for thought, Charles Brennan

[Riley Smith]

I can agree somewhat with your feelings CB. Yes, I can see the sand dripping inexorably out of the hour glass. I must say I don't have some of your properties though, as I'll take a less than pristine boat out. And yes, I do regret some decisions about an outing, but in my defense, it usually isn't a boat reason that causes it. It's more some other obligation or duty. We all have obligations and duties. Or I'm just not in the mood.

I can get not in the mood occasionally. Too much work, too much trouble, too little time. You know the excuses. There are fine things in my life and sailing something I built is a big one. That said, I get exposure from OTHER places to the things I like, not just necessarily the boat. And added to all that is the solo part. I rarely have any company, and that puts ALL the actual work on guess who? Sonya has pretty much aged out by her own admission.  The boat is small and can be awkward with two but I miss her. I can get the sail PERFECT with her along. It doesn't sail as well with two people, though. It's pretty much got to be blowing a gale to get any uptick in the heartrate with two.

This past Spring season I had OTHER issues involving lots of doctors and if you know me, I don't get along with them at all. So things steal the time away and you're never going to stop that. I am happy when the time comes to hoist the halyard though! And plans are to do some of that in the later stages of the year. Unless some major project comes my way. If I don't go back to work or take a missionary position in Cambodia. If I can still walk and think. Yeah, I get your thoughts and agree for the most part.

Just DO it if you want!

Footnote: I ALWAYS have a project going. Sometime huge, other times tiny. Most of the time several at once. Lately I've been enjoying the A/C in the heat, while building an R/C plane. Some of those medical issues are heat related. Well, I tell my self that's what I'm doing but actually I'm sort of feeling out materials and techniques to build one. So things have a way of working themselves out and I'm enjoying the cool air and the head scratching problems associated with working with materials that are as fragile as an egg. The tiller time will come when I won't die from heat stroke. Or it won't.

[Captain Kidd]

One less July, June, May, April, March, Febr...... well, you get the idea. CB and I just had our discussion, so won't repeat it here.

70 has hit me hard. Not that I'm depressed... just very much aware that time stands still for no man. My three score and ten is up! Maybe by "reason of strength" I'll make four score (hint: Psalm 90), but the uncertainty and brevity of life is very apparent: i.e. with a full schedule/calendar Lindsey Graham keels over at 71. Opportunities are fewer and fewer with frequent visits to the funeral home and cemetery.

My wife and I were just talking yesterday. What would we do if we knew we had only a month to live? We agreed. Probably what we always do. Spend time with each other and our kids and grandkids; friends. People are more important than things, places, activities. I might try to sneak in a sail, but it wouldn't be the priority.

My dad was dying. I asked him if there was anything he'd like to do. Nothing hit him. He mentioned a museum, but it was more of a "not really". He spent his last days with mom and family.

My Disciple Ship is languishing under her tarp. I'll get her out soon (I think).

[Frank B.]

When I lived in Gulfport I used to do that shrug thing. Then I moved to Tulsa followed by Tupelo and the boat did not.  It was in a partnership and the other two partners stayed on the Coast.  I got back down about six times a year, either for business or visiting relatives.  There was never a Shrug during those visits.  Tells you something.

Yes on memories.  I have several dozen of those far less than ideal trips that are filed with clarity in the memory portion of the brain.  I need to start writing them up in the trips section.  The good trips? there is nothing to say.  "Took the boat out from the Mexico Beach canal, crew of four of my grown kids and spouses, great beam reach to Cape San Blas, swam, explored then great beam reach back to the canal" Now my disasters deserve no less than a page and some might get a full chapter in the "what was I thinking" book.

On that age thing, you do know that there is certain point when the passage of time is no longer defined as a straight line, it in fact becomes a curve defined exponentially.  For me that happened about 75.  So this beat up old body with very little cartilage left where it is needed, is racing full bore to 80 with no apparent way to slow it down. That milestone birthday is this January which kinda started this whole thing, maybe I should go sailing.....

[Captain Kidd]

I didn't mention memories, but I'm with the rest of you: the "dramatic" outings are the ones that stick. What do they say? Sailing is 95% joy and 5% terror. It's the 5% you remember. Mine run from sailing into a nor'easter with only one year of experience, to outings that ended with tows, to "baptizing" my tow vehicle, to capsizing in December, to losing a trailer wheel on the interstate, to my "three seconds of terror", to... well, all I can say is don't talk to my wife!

There have been good sails. In fact, the last sail my wife and I took together before selling my Hunter was beautiful. I will remember that one because it may indeed be our last. (Norman advises me not to buy another pocket "kruzer" thinking we can sail together. He tried and apparently it didn't work).

I never seriously thought about becoming a sailor, but the day I saw that ad in a trading paper changed everything. It's been good. It became a big part of my life. I went from being a golfer to a sailor. Wouldn't change it!

[Doug SC]

Returning from a niece's wedding in Colorado. The wife and I are staying in a NM Best Western at the moment. A close friend from my time in Gainesville FL while working on my master is the father. He thanks me for introducing him to Carol's younger sister. Their daughter is the one that just got married. He is undergoing treatment for pancreatic cancer. I spent time with him reminiscing.

While out there I joined family members on several sight seeing trips like Pikes Peak. My plan and the reason we drove from SC was to spend several days fly fishing. The Sunday we were to leave I developed a hernia. I saw an emergency care doctor who said it would be alright to travel but no lifting or strenuous activity. He didn't think hiking and wading rocky streams was a good idea "dang it"! When I get back I'll schedule the repair. Which will put a damper on sailing for a while. At 75 with bad knees I am blessed to be able to do most everything I enjoy, but life has a way of reminding me of impending limitations. Even so I intend to give it what I have left in me until I can't.

Yes Family and Friends are important, but in my way of thinking so are the other things that bring meaning in my life. So I plan to take the time to Sail, Kayak, Canoe, Camp(I still sleep on the ground), Hunt, and Fish God willing. Doing it with Friends and Family is best. However doing it alone is also satisfying.

Today Carol and I along with our eldest daughter her husband and two young granddaughters hiked a half mile up to Zapata falls in the Sangri de Christos Mountains to see the rare black swift, they nest behind waterfall's. I also walked up the cold rocky creek into the cave with the waterfall. Don't tell the Doc. I'll post a few photos when I get home.

[Frank B.]

Doug, sounds like a great trip, and if that hernia is inguinal, probably not to worry about activity doing harm prior to repair.  If you lay down if it goes back where it belongs on its own or with very gentle prodding, probably OK, particularly if fairly large.  I learned that the large ones are not going to do that twist/block thing requiring emergency surgery.

I had one for ten years, trained for and ran two marathons, including Boston, hiked the 500 mile Camino de Santiago with a backpack and did a whole lot more during that time.  When I finally decided to have it fixed, my Urologist convinced me to wait if I had plans for a radical prostatectomy because he would have to go through that repair to do his thing.  So I did. 

Mine was large, had to done open with mesh, recovery was a non issue but it did cause me to miss a ski trip. 

[Captain Kidd]

The things you "old guys" do amaze me! Hopefully I'll still be moving at 75 and 80.

I hiked over on Lookout Mountain again the other day. This time I hiked with my weighted vest. Went pretty well, but I did feel it a little bit more, especially in my knees the next day or two. Timing was about the same, maybe little bit slower. Planning to hike on Signal Mountain on Friday.

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EDIT: this  is an out & back hike. I'm trying to figure out if I can handle (without killing myself) a hike with 2000' elevation gain in about 2.5 miles with a 25 lb pack on my back. This hike was 600' elevation gain in 1.5 miles with 13 lbs on my back. Hopefully I can "up my game" as the fall approaches. I'm intentionally going slow. In truth, I believe I can, but there's no doubt this body is not 16 years old!

[Riley Smith]

Sigh. I like to hike. Uh...I like to hike somewhere ELSE than here. There's not much to see here except alligators and snakes and I've seen them a million times. Oh, and pine trees, too. A hill is a rise over 6 inches, and if the water is wet it has alligators and snakes in it. Any rock was hauled in. There are skeeters too, just as icing on the cake. We hiked to Allum Bluff Cave in the Smokies and I carried my eldest daughter all the way. That was a long time ago but I can bet the boys still remember it. They wouldn't let me hike in the Rockies. Some critter will get you! I shoulda brought a gun and I'm WAY more wary of two-legged predators. I did manage a couple of solo hikes in "safe" places and even a little climbing. Keep it up. The way I look at it I'll be a static fixture soon enough!

[Frank B.]

Yep Riley, variety is good, I think you have to move away permanently in order for the monotony to subside. Whenever I'm down there I try to sneak in a hike, however short, for exercise.  I often go over to that short trail behind the school on the Old Spanish fort rd.  Only a few miles but kinda nice seasonally but you gotta like pine trees. Sometimes the Tuxachanie off 49 in Saucier, but flat and pine trees prevail.

I did the Alum Cave trail twice on the way to the Leconte lodge, lots of variety there from the creek sides low to true rocky trails up high. The lodge is cool, but hard to get a spot.

Up here, blessed with the Tishomingo State Park with 13 miles of trail and all the variety you would want from riverside flat to rock wall steep.

Only snow shoe hiking in the Rockies. My wife had to quit skiing years ago because of having some very delicate hardware in her eyes, think tiny relief valves to control pressure, So I ski some and snowshoe with her some.

Motion is lotion, don't quit until you just can't.

[Captain Kidd]

"Motion is lotion"! Brilliant.

[Wolverine]

My wife and I were very active in our 20s. We never missed a chance to take the girls swimming, bike riding, or a fall/winter hike. Then at 29, my wife had a stroke while in the hospital with cancer. When she came home she couldn't walk or even feed herself. She fought back and 3 years later she was walking again, but no more swimming, bicycle riding, or hikes. She couldn't cross our yard without help. Then, in our early 49s, she had 2 more strokes. Each one setting her back. Today, 36 years later, she is riding an adult tricycle and taking walks when it's not too hot outside. We made a promise to ourselves back never to waste a nice day. Yes, sometimes we still say "tomorrow looks better", but we try to make every day count.

As for living in paradise, we've always loved the change of seasons when we lived in the Midwest. Here in coastal North Carolina, there isn't much change and one does get too used those perfect days.

[Captain Kidd]

My wife and I were very active in our 20s. We never missed a chance to take the girls swimming, bike riding, or a fall/winter hike. Then at 29, my wife had a stroke while in the hospital with cancer. When she came home she couldn't walk or even feed herself. She fought back and 3 years later she was walking again, but no more swimming, bicycle riding, or hikes. She couldn't cross our yard without help. Then, in our early 49s, she had 2 more strokes. Each one setting her back. Today, 36 years later, she is riding an adult tricycle and taking walks when it's not too hot outside. We made a promise to ourselves back never to waste a nice day. Yes, sometimes we still say "tomorrow looks better", but we try to make every day count.

As for living in paradise, we've always loved the change of seasons when we lived in the Midwest. Here in coastal North Carolina, there isn't much change and one does get too used those perfect days.

I'm sincerely touched by your wife's determination and your commitment to her!!!

Very inspirational!

[Riley Smith]

Tishomingo State Park is a GREAT place, one of the finest in Mississippi imho. I just wish I lived within range of it! I've only been once but it was a fine place and a LONG way from the coast. And yes, Wolverine, I'm glad y'all are still kicking about with each other. That mental toughness is a big part of old age I'm beginning to believe.